Author Archives: Karen Dortbucuk

Ordinary Girls: Final thoughts and comments

Finishing Ordinary Girls was a bit bittersweet. 

I guess even if I told myself I didn’t have any expectations, I was still waiting for a fairytale ending. I thought the book was great, something I would have not picked out from the shelf on my own, but I did enjoy it. 

At times, it was hard to read. Not in the way that I couldn’t understand it, but there was so much information to process, a lot was going on in a short amount of time and a lot of touchy subjects.

I have never read a memoir before, so I don’t know if it is typical or just Diaz’s writing style, but I feel like I was reading a diary, but not in the correct order. The subtitles helped to put in context her stories, but the jumping around was confusing at times. The book felt personal, as if she was talking directly to me, which I liked.

As mentioned before, I enjoyed the book. 10/10 would recommend, and I understand why it got so many raving reviews. 

Ordinary Girls: Relationships & The ARMY

The more I continue to read Ordinary Girls, the more invested I get.

The more we progress in the reading, the more Diaz talks about her personal relationships and friendships. I was shocked to learn that at 18 she was already married, and separated. Actually, I was shocked about everything that happened in her life at that age. It made me look back and realize all that I have been through in my 18 years of life and how grateful I am to have been raised in a stable home. 

The differences between our lives are immense, but they are familiar to me as I have heard similar stories from friends and family. Things like that happen everyday to a lot of people. Relationships are complicated, as we can see through her experiences and our own as well.

She then shares her story about her joining the ARMY after spending time doing drugs and failing her GED. I heard the military can be a great way for troubled people to change and find their paths as it gives structure, discipline and responsibility. It has never been something I was a huge fan of for myself, but it can be for others

Mental Illnesses in Hispanic Families (Ordinary Girls)

These comments are based on pages 63-142 of Ordinary Girls.

During these passages, Diaz shared parts of her childhood including her complicated family life, difficulty with dealing with her mother’s mental illness, her time in jail, suicide attempt, her sexuality and sexual assault.

 All of these are very tough subjects, and this book is packed with emotions. In fact, I had to stop reading a couple of times to take a breath and empathize with her. What I admire is that she does not write in a way that makes us pity her, but understand her struggles. 

“Maybe the thought that my mother had done this to herself was less frightening than the idea that madness was something that could just happen to you, as it had to my mother, as it had to Mercy before her, as it had to Mercy’s father” (pg. 63 )

From this quote (and other passages), it seems like there is no true understanding of Mental Illnesses in her family, in fact she often referred to her mother’s sickness as being “crazy” and “madness”. One thing I have noticed from hispanic families is that we fail to get educated on the matter, which leads to false stereotypes.

My question to you is, how much do you think your parents/grandparents/aunts/uncles know about mental illnesses? Is there a stigma for those who do try and seek help?

“Ordinary Girls” Section 1 Summary

Diaz starts off the first section of her book talking about her family life and dynamic, as well as her childhood in PR. Emphasized in the first few pages is her deep love and adornment for her father, as she wrote on page 13 “But I was sure of one thing: that I wanted everything my father wanted, and if he loved this man, then I would love him, too.” and “I ADORED MY father. He was the center of my universe, and I wanted, more than anything else, to be the center of his” (pg 17). 

Like a lot of traditional families, focus is on the sons of the house. Her brother, Anthony was Mami’s, Papi’s and Abuela’s favorite. Contrary to her, he had light eyes and skin, while she was “ brown, brown, brown, like tierra”. 

During this section, Diaz also shared the issues her family had to face. Her father had an affair with the neighbor which led to a fight with Mami, and there was a racial tension between Mercy, Mami’s mother, and Diaz’s black father. In fact, Mercy was against her daughter getting with a dark skinned man, even telling Diaz “ it’s your father’s fault. Your father and his black family. Your black grandmother. Your black uncle.” (pg. 45)

She then reminisced about the good times she spent with her family.

Expectations: Myself, My Class, My Professor

This year, I have put a couple of expectations for myself. First one is to continue doing my best, even when it can get really hard. I am a good learner, but I have struggled with virtual classes this past year and a half. 

As everyone in this class, I have a set goal of what I want to achieve academically, and I will work towards that goal.

I expect our instructor to be respectful, compassionate and understanding. As you all know, our lives can become pretty chaotic, so it is important to be able to talk and get the help and assistance that we need. Instructors define part of our experiences.

Same thing goes for all of the students in this class. We are no longer high school students. Let’s talk to each other with respect, without judgement.

Karen Dortbucuk